After 34 years on this planet, marriage, two children, a career where I spoke to a wide and varied group of people, you would think that people's behaviour wouldn't surprise me. It does.
Sometimes, something will happen. Often with someone I know very well. I don't think much of it, but a little while later I feel a sting. "That wasn't right. Why would they do that? Was it on purpose or were they just not thinking? No, that was definitely on purpose." I then spiral into: "What did I do? Have I done something wrong?" This has happened a couple of times in recent weeks with people I don't see that often and has left me a little shaken. Left me thinking these kind of thoughts.
I guess I'm a little naive. I generally think people are good and would never intentionally set out to hurt someone. I've found this to not always be true, which always surprises me. I always try to treat those around me with respect, care and compassion, I'm sure there are times where people may read my actions differently to how I intend them, but I would never intentionally be malicious or mean. My intent to those I love is good.
On the flipside, I will then have someone, who out of nowhere, will do something so kind, so generous, that I'm taken aback. Thoughts turn to: "Goodness, why would they go to so much trouble? Just for me? I'm so lucky. I only hope that I can be as good a friend to them."
Life is such a mixed bundle, thankfully I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by some truly good people who help balance out the not-so-good. If nothing else, it's all good fodder for that book I plan to write some day!