Thursday, 9 February 2012

Sleep scarred

I know sleep deprivation all too well. I come from a whole family of people for whom sleep is a struggle.

Lil-lil struggled with sleep from the start, I had many, many, many long nights cajoling her into sleep. In fact, it's only in the past 5 or 6 months that she's consistently slept at night, finally after five years.
Goosey has also struggled with sleep, she had sleep issues when she was a one-year-old and then had sleep apnoea and now still wakes 1-3 times a night to climb into bed with me. I often return her to bed at least once or twice a night.
Skip also has times when he struggles to get to sleep or wakes in the early hours, I don't have to pat him off to sleep, but I often wake when he's up and feel so terribly bad for him. When I know he's struggling to sleep I often don't want to move a muscle in fear of interrupting that tiny window when he may be able to get back to sleep.

If I could have one wish, it would be to give my family long, deep hours of restful sleep. Once you have sleep, you can tackle anything.

Little D has been a good sleeper. I haven't written on this blog about it as I haven't wanted to jinx it. I have been so thankful and relieved at how well he's slept. I have savoured each and every night he's slept soundly and never once taken it for granted. I've prayed that he's like his mama who finds sleep easy.

The past week something has changed. Suddenly my good sleeper is awake. Many times a night. And it breaks my heart. I took him to the doctor this morning to make sure he wasn't ill and he's fine. I'm trying not to panic, desperately hoping it's a rough patch, a phase and he will go back to his sleeping ways. Although I'm so scarred from long-term sleep deprivation that I'm terrified.

I know the pressure that sleep deprivation can put on a person. On a relationship. On a family. On friendships. On work. On absolutely everything. It sucks the joy out of life.

As a family, we've pulled through this sleep stuff together, and I'm sure we can again. But it sucks.


  1. Try not to panic. Says me. Thinking of you x

    1. I'm trying, I'm really trying. Though the last person I can whinge to is you. xxx

  2. Sleep deprivation just sucks Corinne, there's nothing good about it ever.
    My Muddy Bubby has been a pretty good sleeper (touch wood) but has also been waking a little bit recently, I'm starting to think he's having a growth spurt and is hungry. I'm thinking I'm going to start him on solids a little earlier than I did the girls, to see if it makes a difference. Fingers crossed it does, because the lack of sleep is wearing me out.
    I've got my Fingers Crossed for a good night's sleep tonight for your family, and for the next, and next and next.....

  3. I actually broke is week thanks to sleep deprivation.

    Seriously, 3 hours in 72 hours. That's what I got. I wish I was exaggerating :-|

    Ended up in a flood of tears, telling Dave how much I hate my life (I actually don't, I love it, it's that whole sleep deprivation playing tricks on your mind thing) ;)

    He sent me to bed, Max to my MIL's, & I'm so ashamed to admit this (because I know I'll be loathed by multi Mum's, but I slept for 18 hours. Straight).

    Sleep deprivatn seriously does suck the joy out of life. Your relationship. Everything.

    This week, I came to the realization that I just don't think I can work night shift any more.

    We're going to sit down & make plans, because something's gotta give.

    I'm praying this is just a phase for little D, I really am!

    Cherie xoxox

    1. Oh Cherie! you poor, poor thing. What a good husband and MIL you have. I've always wondered how you coped doing night shifts AND looking after Max. You're a superwoman. xx

  4. Brings back some rather blah memories. This to shall pass, but in the meantime... This is what a blog is for xxx

    1. Amen. I blog, therefore I am. Isn't that what Descartes said?

  5. Oh Corinne, I am hearing you loud and clear. We're in a distressing patch of interrupted, horrible, sleepless nights too. Felix, who has always been fairly good, wakes without fail every. night. He will not be comforted back to sleep in his cot, so the only way to get him back is to let him sleep with me. Not good at all. I'm now hauled up in the single bed in the boy's room anywhere from midnight onwards. I do hope things with little D settle down and you can get back into a rhythm. It's the worst thing in the world when a family's rhythm is disrupted. Everything just goes to crap. Hugs xo

  6. I know it all too well too. Liam is an excellent sleeper and so was I until I started living with Charlie who wakes up if I even shift my legs the slightest. Then we had Ryan who finally started to sleep through the night in her own bed at age 8. Now I seem to be suffering from sleep issues the worst...waking up between 1am and 3am and being unable to go back to sleep.
    It does suck and hopefully for the D man this is just a brief phase he is going through. For Skip, see if you can buy him melatonin. I get it at Target, it is a natural sleep enhancer. No crappy side effects...just naturally relaxes the body and puts me right out...for the whole night! He should give it a go!

  7. I can totally sympathies with you, none of my three children slept through the night until they were at least 4 or 5. Sleep deprivation is the worst!

    Nicky Singh

  8. Agggh.
    Sleep deprivation is one ugly beast.
    Wishing you a return to zzzzzzs very, very soon.
    Like tonight.
    :-) x


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