Thursday, 23 February 2012

I've got your back

For the longest time, I thought to survive and be a 'grown up' you had to be tough. Present to the world that you had it together. Fake it to you make it. Never show fear, never show uncertainty. Don't rely on anyone. Be better than the Joneses.

I've learnt that is a load of crap and a pretty sad way to live your life. In part, blogging and being 'out there' has shown me that it's far better to be honest, vulnerable and occasionally lean on others. Be sad when you're sad, be happy when you're happy. Crushing down the facade makes for a richer life.

I've learnt there's a different between being whingy and being honest. Between being needy and needing people. That we're all a little crazy some times. That most of the time I haven't got a clue.

I'm really lucky that I have a group of friends who I trust, who are supportive and are there no matter what. It took me a long time to find people like that. Some are in the same boat and can empathise when I feel like the mundane nature of motherhood is going to send me mad. Others have completely different lives but we relate as people, love hearing about each others worlds and support each other.

I find it hard to be around people these days who feel they need to promote an image of perfection. No life is perfect and it's perfectly OK to admit that some days. I'm so far from perfect. I make so many mistakes each and every day. 

It's so important to have people you can say to: "I'm struggling," when they ask how you are, rather than a tight lipped "Oh I'm fine." Who will listen without judgement, make you a strong cup of coffee and then make you laugh. They are also the same people who cheer on your achievements too. Who breathe a sigh of relief when a tough time has past.

I recently had an email from a friend who said: "I know you probably feel like you're failing some days, but from where I'm standing you're doing an amazing job." It's that kind of thing that means the world to me.

We all need people who've got our back, but we've got to allow them to by being vulnerable. I've recently realised just how many people really do have my back, and for that I'm grateful.

I just hope they know that I have theirs too.


  1. I am sure they do, but I guess you just told them too!

  2. Well... your post just woke me up! Big time. I have to be in charge, on top of it all, stoic, strong, etc. You are so right. I am now going to be more open about how I'm feeling. Not whiney or effing 'needy'. Hate needy. My problems are physical, the results of ross River virus and a slip down some stairs. thanks a million.

  3. love this post - so true, thank you

  4. beautiful post corinne - I *love* your honesty x

  5. You have no idea how much I needed to read this tonight.

    Something has been brewing inside of me for a very long time, a real ... I guess ... disgust towards my former best friend. But I feel that I owe it to our very long friendship to give an explanation about why I just don't feel like I can be around her any more.

    You hit it Corinne.

    The nail on the frikkin' head.

    I just actually can't be around her 24/7 projected image of perfection any more.

    It's so off putting. It actually makes me feel ill.

    I feel so liberated even in saying that here ...

    I think I'm ready to say that to her now.

    This is why I love blogging. This is why I love your blog.

    You really do just ooze of real!

  6. Very, very true and well said. X

  7. Oh hear hear Corinne. As always your post speaks volumes to me. I don't think I've ever felt quite so vulnerable or lost or confused or utterly helpless as I do right now. And there are certain people in my life who I just ADORE for showing me what they really are and what I really am to them, over this past week or so. It is so incredibly sobering and heart warming to feel that kind of love and support from friends and family... and I include the blogging world in that group xoxo

  8. Such a great honest post Corinne. Life's too short to have to try and fake it all the time.

  9. As a new mom I love reading your blog. Every time I think to myself 'this is too hard' I think if what an amazing job you are doing despite all the difficulties- and I only have 1 to your wonderful 3! Thanks for giving me support without even realizing it!

    1. Oh thank you so much! You just made me teary (and made my day). xxx

  10. As a new mom I love reading your blog. Every time I think to myself 'this is too hard' I think if what an amazing job you are doing despite all the difficulties- and I only have 1 to your wonderful 3! Thanks for giving me support without even realizing it!

  11. Hi Corrine, That was a wonderful post.. I have been very depressed the last few months and just returned to work fulltime in the last week. Everything was too much, I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't reply to the mammoth work load and emails, make dinner etc, attending board meetings or more to the point - chairing the meetings was an ordeal for me and everybody else probably.. Everything was just too much and I was partly to blame for creating this mess, by always being available, saying "yes" to people - when it should have been no and it become too much.. (What seemed like a perfect)relationship with the boy of my dreams)split up at the beginning of all this, saw it spiralling it out of control, and I found myself on a busy road, late at night, in search of some cars to hit me "to shock me into wanting to life".. Not my finest moment, I must say.. But happy to admit it, as too often, we hide things under the covers, don't say what we are feeling or thinking and if we did - we may be happier, our friends would relate etc etc.. Love the post.. Kerri Dick xx


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