Monday, 6 February 2012


Urgh what a morning. The boy was sad and slept badly all night, he cried pretty much all morning as we tried to get ready for the day. When I told Lil-lil it was time to get dressed for school, she burst into tears and said she had a terrible stomach ache and couldn't go. Then Goosey decided she didn't want to go to preschool. It was a tearful trifecta.

I'm really hoping Lil-lil's fear about going to school disappears quickly. She never shed one single tear going to preschool, so this is a new thing for us. The number one thing that I want for my kids' schooling career is that they enjoy going. That they wake up in the morning content about going to school, sure that won't be every morning, but it would be fantastic if it was most mornings. Everything else is second.

You see, I hated going to school. Every single morning of my school life (preschool, primary, high school) I woke up dreading going, my stomach tied in knots at the very thought of it. During my first year of school, I cried and threw up most mornings, there was a scene at the school gate each and every day. Eventually the tears stopped but I vomited a lot of mornings before going to school all the way through until I finished Year 12. If I'm completely honest the same dread actually continued on to university and my working life.

I don't know why I hated it so much. I had no reason to be so anxious about it. Once at school my experience was pretty positive. I wasn't unpopular, I had friends, many of whom are still my friends now. I wasn't bullied. The teachers liked me and I them, I was made a prefect in primary school. Some of my high school teachers are Facebook friends today. I did pretty well academically, especially seeing as I had zero interest and did the bare minimum of study.

Yet, hate it I did.

As I walked towards the school gate with Lil-lil this morning and saw her eyes fill with tears, all those feelings that consumed me for so many years came flooding back.

So I just want my kids to enjoy going to school and eventually find careers where they wake up in the morning excited about it. Not to waste so much time and energy dreading the day ahead as I did.


  1. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time and Lil-lil is sad... It's very hard to maintain a strong facade when your child is upset. I just hope that she will settle into it and find a friend or two that makes it easier for her to go in the mornings. Xx

  2. Oh man, that is HARD. Nothing worse than not being able to help your little ones especially when you know EXACTLY how she feels. I'm too tired to have any practical advice, but I hope tomorrow is a little better for all of you x

  3. Wow, what a morning indeed.

    Hopefully it will only take a few more days/weeks for everyone to get into a rhythm of the morning drop off.

    You are doing a super job hun xx

  4. Oh love, I ache for you, and know how you feel. I loved primary school but high school was beyond a nightmare. I was so anxious with Miss A starting this year. So I did so much to help her - we've spent years hosting playdates with a wide range of friends, encouraging new friends with sport etc etc. She's gone in with enthusiasm and I'm sure will have an amazing time.

    You're an awesome mum, I'm sure your girls won't notice your anxiety, and knowing them they'll be just fine (Mr D too of course). Many hugs - let's get together soon so I can give you a hug for real xx

    1. You're on! It's been too long xxx

      She was sad this afternoon as she hadn't met a friend in her class. So I arranged a play in the park with a girl in her class tomorrow after school and she perked right up.

      I know she'll be fine. It'll just take time. Xx

  5. Watching our kids struggle when there's only so much we can do is so hard. I'm sure she'll settle in before you know it. Great idea with the play date too!
    Hope tomorrow morning is better and baby boy cheers up a bit.

  6. Oh Corinne, how horrible. I can think of nothing worse than one of my children crying and being upset about going to school. I went through it last year with daycare and I hated it! Like yourself, all I want is for them to wake up and feel anxiety free. I was similar to yourself for much of my schooling life. I can remember feeling so nervous and worried about not being accepted, getting into trouble, not being smart enough or understanding the work as quickly as other children. It was a whole lot of self doubt and I still don't know where it came from. I'd often dread Monday mornings and the first day back after holidays was always brutal. Though I also did enjoy so much about school, so obviously it wasn't all bad. It's terrible that we have to relive this kind of pain through our darling children. I guess it's just one big circle. I hope Lil lil starts to feel a little more comfortable asap xoxo

    1. Thanks, it's awful feeling so anxious. I'm sure she' find her place soon. She ADORED going to preschool, so I think once she feels comfortable she'll be fine xx

  7. Oh love.
    That's tough. So tough.
    We want our kids' happiness more than we freaking want our own.
    I truly hope Lil lil is skipping into school soon.

  8. Oh man.
    It's heartbreaking that she feels this way...hopefully she will change her mind soon...I cannot even imagine. There is no worse feeling than to force your child to do something they dread doing. Sucks all the way around and for everyone involved.
    Poor thing!

    1. She's doing better today. Happy that she has a playdate and a potential friend. I'm sure she'll be great once she has a mate to play with x

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