Tuesday 9 August 2011

Perfectly imperfect (alternatively titled: why I blog)

I've had a few real-life people say to me that they feel like a stalker when they read my blog. My reply to that is: "If I've put it on the internet I'm OK with you reading it. Believe me."

My blog is about my life, my thoughts and feelings. My insecurities, my fears. My hope and dreams. It's my perspective of my corner of the world. I don't put anything here that I wouldn't say to anyone in the real world. I wouldn't put anything here that I think would embarrass or hurt my family or friends. I do try to be open and honest though. My perspective on things that happen in my life are probably completely different from those around me, but that's what life's about. In all honesty, only a small percentage of my life makes it onto the blog, though I think it's the feelings and the things I tussle with that make it on the most. There are times I post something and wonder: "Oooh, have I said too much? Will people think I'm mad/a whinger/sad/etc? Will Skip approve of this? " I think most bloggers think this at one time or another.

I have to say that the only time he's ever disapproved of something I've written (or at least that he's spoken of) is when he thinks I haven't been honest enough.

I've recently realised how drawn I am to people who live openly and honestly. People who don't have a facade. They say: "This is me, like it or not". I've found myself with less time for people who 'try' to be something they are not, try to be perfect or at least portray their life as perfect. I really like the imperfect. We're all imperfect, some of us are just more honest about it than others.

Over the past 12 months or so I've had the pleasure of meeting people like Eden and Beth through blogging. Both funny, gorgeous and smart, but both oh so honest about being imperfect. Their lives are real, complicated, exciting and boring and I love reading about it. In real life, I've recently befriended someone who is incredibly open and honest and I like it, I like it a lot. I found the words: "I love your openness!" pouring out of my mouth to her just a few days ago.

I think one of the many reasons I love Skip so much is that he's real. He generally says what he thinks, no bullshit. I respect that openness. I think raw honesty is an attractive quality in someone.

I hate whispers, intrigue, secrets. I don't find the mysterious attractive, I find it unsettling. I much prefer an open book.

Earlier this week, I read this post from Sarah at Ah The Possibilities and it really resonated with me about why I blog, how I blog, how I want to blog and what I've got out of blogging. By sharing a lot of my feelings about being a parent, a partner and a person, I've come to understand them better and I hope that I may have made others out there feel better about having similar feelings (or at least made them feel better so they can say "What a freak!"). That there is a difference between being vulnerable and being intimate.

So while you may feel like a stalker reading this, I promise there is more going on behind the scenes. Though all the angst, insecurities, delight, joy, sadness, frustration, anger, boredom are real, imperfectly real. I don't blog to say 'hey, look how good I am here on the internet', I blog to wade through all 'stuff' in life. I blog to be open to myself. I blog in the hope that someone else will say: "I totally get what you're saying."


  1. Ok let me be first to say it "I totally get what you are saying" :) I too admire those that are complete open books - I still have dreaded "what if someone doesnt like what I have to say" complex, even though its my blog and my opinion is the only one that counts. Still, hate the thought of offending or causing controversy but stand in awe of those such as Eden who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeve x

  2. I totally get what you are saying!

    I've never understood why people act perfect. I guess their disguise has never fooled me - we are all just scraping by and doing the best we can. I like "pretty" but you've gotta be able to back it up with a meaningful punch or I'm just not interested.

    I like all three of the bloggers you've mentioned very much. And your blog too - vulnerable, gutsy, perfect. x

  3. Ah, Corinne. Hear, hear, my friend. I'm all for keeping it real. That's certainly one of my core values on Planet Baby. Good for you! J x

  4. This post is fantastic! And so honest.

    Which is why I've actually looked forward to all of your posts, because you're the Beth and the Eden in my reading list.

    I can't stand sugar-coaters, and quickly tune out to them. Noone is perfect. But people who pretend to be, quickly lose my attention.

    And with friends, I've noticed my best friends are the ones who are the open books. Because life's too short to try and make friends out of high maintenance 'pretend' people.

    Thanks for allowing me to stalk yet another fantastic read.

    ... I'm so new to blogging. But I'm so glad I've found it :)

  5. I always get what you're saying Corinne, you're one of my fave writers (which I may have mentioned once or twice before, hehe!) I always get the feeling that you would be in real life, exactly how you come across on your blog.
    I'm with you, there is nothing on my blog I'd be worried about anyone in my real life circle reading. I see each post as a snapshot in time, all real, specifically chosen stories out of the general chaos that is my life :o) xo

  6. Thanks for sharing. As you said, blogs are SUPPOSE to be public and it allows for a large range of people to find it. It's not stalking LOL! It's amazing when you can share and connect with a strange through blogging. I recently launched www.whyiblog.com for people to share their stories and read others. I would love to hear what you have to say, keep up the great blogging!

  7. Why thank YOU lady lady - happy to make you feel better with all the ACTUAL shit that goes on with raising kids!

    It's funny on the weekend I had a few different people come up to me and say how much they like my blog (people that I KIND of know) and they all said "sorry it seems like I am stalking you". But, like everything you said, it's a way of sharing and working stuff out for yourself and like Sarah said, if people want to read that and share with you - then what a privilege it is!

    Love reading your blog and love you too X

  8. So you're saying I'm not a stalker???

    There are times I just want to vent and complain via Twitter or my blog but I don't want people to perceive me as negative or whiny.
    While I love the honesty and openness in people, I hate the idea of people getting the wrong perception of me.
    While I cook up a storm most nights, there are plenty of nights we get fast food.
    While I love and adore my husband there are plenty of times when I want to throw him to the curb.
    And while I love being a mom, sometimes kids are just so friggin annoying and if one more person asks me a question in a day I might explode.

    I feel better already!

    I love what you write about.
    I love the glimpse into your world I get even though I am on the other side of the globe.
    And if you weren't so open and honest in the first place I might never have started to heart you this much.

  9. Oh I love this post - and not just because you mentioned me in a beautiful way. Though, that DID make me like it a teensy bit more. Heh.

    I love how you are wading through it too - it is such an odd thing, to blog and put your self out there on the internet. And then other times, it is the most natural thing in the world. I'm drawn to "real" people as well.

    And how is that wondrous belly of yours? I hope you're feeling good, sweetheart. XOXOX

  10. Pretty insightful. Thanks!

    My blog:
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  11. I read from one of your readers about the blog being a snapshot. So very true. I try to write about the good times on my blog because I can perfectly remember the bad ones with no problem at all. And who needs to be reminded of that.
    Though, there are times when you just need to purge.
    Be real.


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