Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Butterflies

Yesterday's first day at preschool went oh so well! Lil-lil turned up and said "I'm 4 years old, my mummy and daddy are leaving now, but mummy will pick me up this afternoon." My heart was bursting with pride. She was so confident and so at ease.

When I came to collect her, her eyes lit up and then her face dropped as she realised my presence meant she'd have to leave all her new friends and games behind. So preschool seems to be a hit for now, which I'm so happy about as I hated preschool, absolutely hated it. Just being in the preschool room yesterday took me back to all the horrible memories I have of preschool. I'm glad that it's a different experience for Lil.

Today is going to be another big day, in fact a much more challenging day. Poor little Goosey is being admitted to hospital to have her tonsils and adenoids removed. Yuck. The only childhood memory I have that is worse than preschool  is having my tonsils out. I vividly remember vomiting blood, a drop of water like razor blades on my throat and two weeks of feeling terrible.

Being a parent can really suck some times. Poor old Goosey has woken  up healthy and happy and yet I know this afternoon she's going to feel just terrible. Having to make decisions like this for your kids is absolutely the worst part of parenting. Rationally, I know that it's the best thing for her, her sleep apnoea will be cured and she'll sleep better than she ever has. Emotionally, I don't want my little baby to have to go through the trauma.

I'm lucky though, as she is a healthy child and this is a relatively minor thing. I can't imagine what it must be like for parents to watch their children in hospital, sick for months.

Still, the butterflies are thumping wildly in my stomach this morning.

4 comments:

  1. Thinking about you and gorgeous Goosey today. She'll feel soooooooo much better in the long run xxx

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  2. SOOOOOOOOOOO glad Lil had such a great time on her first day - all I can remember is clinging to my mum's leg and screaming.
    Thinking about you and Goosey today, hope you are both ok, poor mite, keep thinking of the good. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  3. Hope today goes well. It will be hard.

    I don't know how parents stay strong while caring for terminally ill children. It would literally shatter my heart.

    xx

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  4. Fabulous good news story that your Lil-lil enjoyed preschool, that sort of confidence is wonderful, I can imagine your sense of pride :o)
    Hope your baby is recovering well from her operation, poor poppet... lots of icecream & jelly on the menu no doubt!

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