Thursday 25 November 2010

'Tis the season to be boring

For the past four years as November creeps on into December, I have heard people gabbing about how many parties, gatherings, drinks, knees ups they have on. How they are going to be completely pickled by the new year. How if they see one more glass of champagne they're going to puke. The embarrassing things so-and-so said the night before. How their feet are killing them from walking round town trying to find a cab home.

Now, me, as a stay-at-home mum have exactly zero Christmas parties to go. That's right, as a stay-at-home mum my employer doesn't throw me a festive bash to thank me for a year of hard work. In fact, I don't think I even got one Friday night afterwork drinks this year either. I must to speak to the union about this. Surely we could fit it into our workplace agreement.

I guess the fact that the people in my workplace often vomit and wee on me and then speak incoherently as I help them up off the ground makes my life like a year-round Christmas party. Without the open bar and crappy canapes.

My social calendar is so empty that I've decided it's a perfect time to start a diet. Seeing as everyone else is so busy, I won't have anyone trying to tempt me off my healthy eating plan. So no crap and no alcohol until Christmas Eve. It will make that glass of Veuve taste all the better when Santa delivers it. I'll also have time to catch up on my reading and missed episodes of Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. I know, I rock hard.

So as your out there in your maxi-dresses cheers-ing the season, think of me. At home. On the couch.


  1. I will be on my couch too. We can have a virtual Christmas Party together. Party on!!

  2. Um...LOOK AT YOUR FANCY BLOG? Love it!

    Don't worry I will be doing the same thing...except here at home. No fancy do's up in the big smoke for us this year!

  3. I don't miss the Xmas parties actually. They were SO trashy and messy.

    And my boss always held them on a Thursday night so EVERYONE had to come into work on Friday. Which would then be the worst Friday of your life. Hangovers, bacon & egg rolls, chillout music and sunglasses.

    I'm taking advantage of living in the city this Xmas, as the new house will be finished in Jan, and I plan to get into the festive season by going up to the DJ' window, the Christmas Cave, Martin Place Xmas Tree lighting, and other events around town. Abi will love it more than me, but it's what you do for love ;)

  4. My boss is buying me a fancy bottle of french bubbles to celebrate. I love my boss...

    Um, yep, my boss would be me...

  5. Someone decided a few weeks ago that our dinner on Saturday night is our Christmas catch up, so you are going to a Christmas function! And you didn't even know it!
    p.s. I love Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood too!

  6. I'm totally with you.
    I'll speak to the union too.
    I have only been allowed a pizza with some co-mothers next week...
    but that's okay for now!

  7. I would be organizing my own bubbles night with some other mums, my mums group do this every year, local pub or thai restaurant and lots of talking, better than any work do you can ever go to, close to home, good friends, support and no expensive cab ride home.


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