There was a little girl,
who had a little curl,
right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
she was very, very good,
but when she was bad she was horrid.
I remember hearing this rhyme when I was a little girl. I never really understood it. How could she be so good and so bad? What did the curl have to do with it? I think I just resigned it to being one of those non-sensical rhymes along with blackbirds being baked in a pie and pulling out plums with your thumbs.
Little did I realise this poem was actually a prophecy. One day that little girl with the curl would become my daughter.
My youngest, Goosey, is just two years old. She has a head of golden ringlets and eyes so big and blue they swallow you up. She's often told she looks like a little angel, 'Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth'. She has a mischievous smile that melts even the stoniest hearts. She can be so sweet and so kind, you think she may actually be one of Raphael's cherubs. When our roughest, gruffest relatives visit, most kids run and hide, but she'll climb on their lap and give them a warm cuddle and kiss. Her manners are impeccable, she always says thank you unprompted: "Thank you for taking me to the park, Grandma" "Thank you for making me dinner, Daddy."
Then just when you think an angel really is living on earth, things turn. The angel is suddenly climbing on the dining table pouring a bag of flour everywhere; she's painting the walls and her body with red lipstick; she's purposely destroying her sister's artwork just to get a reaction; she's kidnapped her sister's prized bear and thrown it behind the couch – and this is all in the space of 15 minutes. When you tell her to stop, she pokes out her tongue and says: 'Shut up, bum head!'
Lil-lil and I spend much of our day throwing our hands up in the air in exasperation. Lil-lil saying: "That little sister of mine is being crazy." If I take my eyes of her for 30 seconds so I can go to the toilet or do anything, she's into something, something she knows she's not supposed to be doing. She's like the Duracell's bunny, who keeps going and going and going. She will no longer sleep in the day (sob), so the days are looooooong.
The past week couple of weeks have been trying. Very, very trying. People say: "Goodness, what have you fed her today?" and the reply is: "She's like this all the time." All. the. time. Well, at least it feels that way at the moment.
I feel like I'm constant disciplining her. It's exhausting. I feel sorry for her sister as she seems to be on the receiving end of a lot of Goosey's bad behaviour. I don't want either of them to be cast in the roles of 'good child' and 'bad child', cause I know those rolls can stick if you let them.
Yesterday, was one of the worst days I've had. A simple trip to the local library ended in tears – mine and hers. After playing so nicely for about 45 minutes, Goosey even handing a book to a little girl who was sad and putting her hand on her back to see if she was OK. Soon after, Goosey became upset when another child removed something that was supposed to remain on a table. When the child wouldn't put the item back, Goosey threw the table at her. She threw a table at a child. Was I horrified? Well that's an understatement. I packed her up and said, 'That's it, we're going home' (after explaining what she'd done wrong and me apologising profusely to the other parent).
On our way out, she had the mother of all tantrums, unable to understand that her method of trying to right a wrong wasn't quite appropriate. As we were in a library it sounded a lot louder too. A librarian tried to speak to me as we left, I was trying to restrain Goosey as she screamed and kicked and picked up leaflets on the counter and threw them at the librarian. Right then, a lady behind me lent in and said "It does get better." I freaking hope so!
I've never felt such extreme anger and love at the same time. How can someone so sweet and kind and who you love so much, turn and make you so angry? Lil-lil had her moments, as all two year olds do, but nothing like this.
I hope this is a stage or something we can help get under control, cause I don't know how Skip, Lil-lil and I are going to survive!