I said on Friday that I wasn't going to write about unsettled babies, truth is if I don't then I won't have anything to write about.
My easygoing baby has vanished. The baby who happily self-settled, the baby who was content has been replaced with a squirmy, squally, unhappy bubba.
I can't tell you how much the distresses me. I've been here before. Loooooong days of crying. Looong days of rocking, patting. Looooong days of thinking; "what the hell have I done?"
I was hoping I may have dodged a bullet this time. I thought perhaps I'd gotten a settled, easy baby. I deserved one after all. All babies have their moments, I know, but this moment has lasted 10 days and is fast becoming more than 'a moment'.
You know I even felt a little guilty that I had such an easy baby for the first 8 or so weeks. Ridiculous.
Last night as he screamed and screamed and screamed, I thought: "What is it I do to my babies to make them like this?"
I know he has reflux. I've heard the gulping, spluttering, the rattly breathing and then the high pitched scream that follows. Being premmie and having a family history, he didn't stand a chance, poor mite.
It's stressful, exhausting and plain horrible. I did months of it with my firstborn.
I know it will get better, it's just surviving at the moment, getting past this time. It feels like an eternity when you're in the middle of it, but it will pass. I hate that, yet again, I don't get to enjoy this. It's a shame there are so many nice things going on at the moment that are being dampened by the crying.