The other day I read a sweet post by a wonderfully special blogger called Cherie. It was about how everyone is good at something. It's an idea that I've always believed in and preached to others. It made me start to think about what I was good at. Really good at. What is my special talent, what is my thing.
You know what? I couldn't think of a single thing. That made me sad. At school I did well, I was bright and always in the top 20% but I never excelled at anything. Since then it's been the same. Perfectly average.
I kept thinking about it. Surely there must be something. If I asked my family and friends they'd probably say blogging, but I'm pretty average at that. I've been setting up our house and realised that I'm not as good at interiors as I thought I was. Fashion definitely isn't my thing. Even as a housewife I'm pretty damn average. I don't mind mess. I'm a lazy cook. I'm not good at exercise or sport. I'm not a hair or make-up person. I'm not arty or crafty.
The more I thought about it the more down I felt. I thought and thought and the closest I come was that I'm good at remembering trivia and I'm good at reading maps. Wow.
Being in a new country and having to start a new social circle from scratch I've had to think more about who I am. How other people see me. That old familiarity of old friends is gone. You meet people and almost have to sum yourself up in a few minutes. How will other people see me? How will they perceive me?
To be honest, I think all this thinking has made me realise how I've let myself slip away a bit. I've let the responsibility of being a mum and wife be too all-consuming. Which, ironically, isn't good for the kids or Skip, because who wants to live with a dull person?
So breaking the rut and the routine of home has made me realise that I need to find something I'm good at. Something that excites me.
Now, where to start....