Saturday 3 September 2011

Beep, beep, beep

Beep, beep, beep, beep. That's the sound that's keeping me company this Saturday afternoon.
Magnesium sulfate being pumped into my veins. Stopping my blood pressure from causing a stroke. Everything is quiet, except for the odd door thudding closed now and again.

My little man is in his nursery on another floor; getting a little stronger every day. It's going to take a while though, weeks really. I haven't been able to see him today and have only got to hold him twice so far which is so strange and awful. Stupid cords on me, stupid cords on him. Getting us better but making this hard.

A week ago, I whinged about how tough it was going to be to have a newborn - feeds, vomit, sleep. How I would love that now.

Instead my little guy lies in his special crib and I can't do any of the normal things to help him.

On another floor in the building my blood pressure spikes yet again and I lie surrounded by doctors and needles and suddenly feel scared that I won't be there for my girls either. It suddenly all seems terrifying again. I thought this part was supposed to be over. Being unable to move from my bed makes it that little bit worse.

Having a baby was supposed to be simple. I never imagined it to be this.

I just hope in a few weeks this will all just be an awful memory and we can move on. The five of us, healthily and happily.

16 comments:

  1. Congrats to your family & you on the new member to your clan.It wont be long before you are both home.

    (((( Hugs )))) XXXX Kisses XXXX

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  2. Oh Corinne, that's so scary. I hope your blood pressure normalises really soon. You and your boy are in the best place at the moment, and before you know it he'll be in your arms. Much love xx

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  3. Oh Corinne, you darling girl. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Sending you a huge Hobart ♥ tonight and hoping you can both go home together very soon. J x

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  4. Oh hun, huge hugs to you this evening. I am so sorry you're going through this terrible time. You're so very brave. I can't imagine how hard this is on you, but rest assured you're in good hands and everyone is thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. Your beautiful little man will be cuddling with you real soon and you can make up for the time you've been apart. Rest easy sweet lady xoxo

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  5. hello Corrine

    I feel dreadful for you - no, that is not the way it was to be!

    I really hope this is all over so soon with a glorious happy ending and you can be tweeting and blogging us about all the trials and tribulations that we expected with you and a newborn.

    (I kind of went through a very similar experience as you and I know personally how dreadful it is to have your baby totally elsewhere and you not be together)

    big warm wishes and hugs

    x

    Loulou

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  6. Oh lady! My heart breaks for you. This is a tough time, no doubt, but you will both get through it. Take it easy, rest and get better. Your little man is going to need you to be the best you can be. Sending you LOTS of love x

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  7. Oh dear Corinne how I am thinking of you!
    This too shall pass...and you couldn't be in a better place than being surrounded by doctors watching you like a hawk.
    I know it sucks and is so unfair and for that I cry with you.
    I wish I could come down there and keep you company!
    xoxo

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  8. Thinking of you and wishing you all the strength (and good health) to get through this shaky start.
    There is so much joy to come.
    xx

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear that!

    But just think, you & your son are united in the sense that you're both building strength so that you can finally be together.

    And when you are, its going to be beautiful :)

    I can't wait to hear all about it.

    Please take care of yourself xx

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  10. Oh poor thing, this must be so tough on you. But just think of this rest as a way of making sure you are both strong enough, healthy enough, to tackle the impending broken sleep, vomits etc that will come soon enough. You will soon be cradling that beautiful boy xx

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  11. you will both get there rin...you will! rest.... and know that you are getting stronger by the minute! sending lots of lovexxx

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  12. Wow, you poor things.

    As the others have said, you need to get well too. Rest up, let the nurses care for bubs while you recover.

    Get well soon hun, xxxx

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  13. Corinne. You will be ok. This will be a distant memory. I feel it, man.

    Love love love to you and your man and your beautiful girls and hubby. XXOO

    Thinking of you HEAPS XXOO

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  14. That's not fair at all!

    I really hope you get to cradle your little man very soon, and this scary time will blur into the past xxx

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  15. This bought back so many memories for me... after a massive haemorrage I was whisked away to ICU in another hospital after my daughter's birth. Helpless, hooked up to life support initially then endless cuffs, drips and tubes, I didn't see her for 2 whole days.
    Thankfully, she was alright though; but I still cry to remember having to look at a photo of her taped to my hospital bed rather than holding my precious girl like a new mum should.
    When things don't work out to plan it can be quite traumatic. Have a chat to someone ok, even if you think you feel alright. It will help you process the emotions.

    Sending you love, support and strength xox

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  16. I am hoping by the time you read this you are home and this was a distant memory.

    I wish you both a speedy recovery!!

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