Friday, 20 May 2011

Imaaaaaaagine if it's a girl!

I'm almost at the 20 week mark of this pregnancy and all is going well. I'm growing in all the right (and some of the wrong) places. I'm getting lots of lovely little fluttery kicks. I'm generally too busy (and too daunted) to dwell on the whole pregnancy thing too much.

The one question that I'm constantly asked is "Do you know what it is?" and "Are you hoping for a boy?".
The answers to both are no and no. We will be finding out what we're having quite soon, as long as bub obliges of course, not because we want a certain gender but because we like knowing. Having a baby pop out of you and seeing what they're like is enough of a surprise for us.

There are some people who imagine we must be desperate to have a boy. They think poor Skip must really want to have someone to carry on the name. The truth is, we adore our girls and would it be so terrible to have another girl? We decided to have another baby, not a gender.

I know it's important to some people to have a certain gender or to have one of each, but it's never been a concern for me. I would've been happy with three boys or three girls, in fact I was certain I'd have three boys so having girls has been a surprise.

In the park a few weeks ago a grandmother was wheeling her granddaughter in pram and the girls stopped them to admire the bub. The lady asked about the pregnancy and went on to say: "Imaaaaagine if you had another girl?! Oh my goodness!" I just looked her and said: "Yeah, and???"

Thankfully, not everyone is like that woman. A mum at Lil-lil's preschool said to me: "If you have another girl as gorgeous and lovely as the ones you've got you'll be very blessed." And this is exactly how we feel.

The sister relationship is so special and wonderful for me to watch, I was always envious of friends who had sisters. Skip loves having his 'girls' too, I don't think he feels like he's missed out for a moment.

Whatever this baby is, it will be wonderful addition to our family and one we'll treasure. It will sadden me if people think we'll be disappointed with a girl, cause we certainly won't be.

Did you feel pressure to have a 'pigeon pair'? Did/do you want to have a certain gender?

13 comments:

  1. As a mummy of three girls I hear you. I was asked a lot and still am despite being clear we've closed up that particular shop! I love having three girls - it's awesome. All the best for the next 20 weeks and beyond either way. Cazxx

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  2. I think it'll be the same for us with the next one, as we've got two girls already. It's funny that people just assume that Dads *need* to have a son, to be fulfilled or something.

    Imaaaaaagine if it is a boy? then you'd have to learn how to navigate around the teeny tiny you-know-what!

    xx

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  3. I'm the youngest of 4 girls - what a disappointment I must be! My Dad was a lot of things but he never made me feel he wished I was a boy - who knows if he would have parented us differently if we had a brother but I'm thrilled I can drop kick a footy, can kick-arse at pool and we never had a Barbie in the house - never wanted one! Girls rock and sisters are awesome - could have been a different family dynamic but we'll never know and who would care?

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  4. Charlie and I never intend to have anymore children and sometimes it makes me sad that he will never have a son of his own.
    He, however, could care less.
    He wouldn't trade his little girl for all the world!
    (Except when she's cranky and nasty. But then again he would probably trade me when I'm like that too!)

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  5. I initially thought Master P was a girl, and was disappointed for 10 seconds but got over it as there were more important things to worry about. When and if we do go for number #2, I'll be happy with a baby. I don't worry about having another boy, in fact I think I'd love to have another boy! I don't really get the gender hang up, surely a healthy child is all that matters.

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  6. Man, I hate it when people make assumptions about your reproductive wishes! I have had 3 children in 3 years. Almost EVERYONE I have met has assumed that number 3 was an accident or that we were shocked/ disappointed/ inconvenienced by her arrival.

    Re: gender, I was a little disappointed after having my first girl that number 2 was a boy. I never had a sister and I really wanted that for my little girl (especially since there is only a 14 month gap between #1 and #2). As it turns out, my big girl got her little sister, but also a little brother in between.

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  7. Understand this situation COMPLETELY Corinne. People can be so darn rude, it never ceases to amaze me. And it's not just strangers with the thoughtless comments. (I know I've mentioned this in the comments on someone's blog, so apologies if I've already told you this story but...) my own brother sent me an sms after my 2nd boy was born, that read "congrats little sis, you now have to try for a girl...". No joke, he wrote that! To him, he would have seen that as no problem at all and initially, I laughed it off. But deep down it kinda hurt. I'm growing a very thick skin with comments such as that, as they're everywhere.
    I'd love a daughter, but it may never be and I'm just thrilled to have my 2 little big men... and if I'm anything like my Mama, I could end up having 6 boys before a girl pops out ;o)
    I just think it's awesome you're going around for a third baby... girl OR boy will be fantastic xo

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  8. I sooo hear you! After 3 girls (only 2 on show if you like) I got quite annoyed with people assuming we wanted a boy. This one actually is a boy, and we are thrilled, but I'd have been just as thrilled with another girl. I am one of three girls and we love it, the sisterhood.

    People are so silly with their assumptions.

    ...although I did have my moments of panic, another girl would have meant all that chatterboxing times 3!!! Not sure I could have coped just between you and me!

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  9. I can understand how you feel. I had no3 earlier this year after 2 girls and the assumptions that we were having another baby simply to have a boy drove me insane.
    Adding to the insanity was the fact we don't like to find out the sex- it was a LONG 9 months!
    The whole pregnancy I assumed I was having a girl (and was excited about that) so when I gave birth to a boy I was in a kind of shock for a few days and needed some time to get used to my baby boy. I actually think I mourned the loss of this phantom 3rd daughter I had imagined in my head, plus I had such a perfect name for her...
    Of course I got over myself and now I just love my baby boy and can't imagine another girl at all & bottom line feel so lucky to have a healthy baby.
    You are blessed whatever happens!

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  10. Emma in Singas!21 May 2011 at 11:50

    I have to say Rinno, that I was one of those mums who really wanted a baby girl. As much as I love my gorgeous son, I secretly hoped our second would be a pink package.
    Needless to say, I was thrilled when my OB told me Piper was on the way, though I wouldn't totally let myself believe it until she arrived.
    Now I've got my 'pigeon pair' I'm seriously considering going back for round three...though that could just be because I'm still on a 'new baby high'
    Ex

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  11. Thanks for all the comments.

    Em - I don't think it's wrong for someone to want a certain gender. I know lots of people do. I'm so glad you got your precious Piper. I just get annoyed that people assume the only reason we're having a third is because we want a boy and that we'll be upset if we don't. After Goose, I've changed my mind a million times about having a third. I was certainly thinking about it when I was on 'new baby high'. xx

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  12. With three girls I know how you're feeling. I got so over strangers stopping me to tell me the only reason we were having another baby was so we could get the boy we've always wanted. My husband and I would always reply we just wanted a happy, healthy baby.

    I wish you a happy, healthy baby x

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Thank you so much for your comments! I'm always thrilled to hear from you.

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