Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Lame Claim to Fame

Before Russell & Tom, John hung out with me.
I hear singing with me was Kamahl's greatest triumph.
Val just won't quit following me.
In the Canadian Wilderness, Alec didn't expect to run into me.

Yesterday, Twitter was abuzz with people playing #lameclaimtofame, where they shared their 15 minutes of lame fame. Things like 'my cousin went out with Shane Warne (when he was married)' and 'I was an extra on Hey Dad!'.

I started thinking about my own lame claims to fame and realised there were so many that my life is essentially just a collection of lame claims to fame. So many, in fact, that I could write a blog post about them. So here goes:

1. I was photographed for a Melbourne newspaper sitting on Muhammad Ali's lap (I was three at the time).

2. I appeared on Simon Townsend's Wonder World singing 'All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth. (No, I didn't get to meet Woodrow, but many years later I applied for a job with Simon Townsend and he made me cry because I didn't have access to a fax machine).

3. In 1983, I appeared in the Sunday Telegraph's fashion section after I was photographed at Paddington Markets with lots of punks. Apparently I was the epitome of child punk fashion.

4. Ben Mendelsohn and John Polson came to my house so I could interview them for a school assignment. Ben had a shaved head as he was trying out for Romper Stomper.

5. I saw Val Kilmer walking down Malibu beach.

6. I saw Val Kilmer hiding from school girls in Kirribilli. (Man that guy won't quit following me).

7. John Howard (the actor, not the ex-PM) taught a Shakespearean drama class that I took. He swore more than anyone I've ever met.

8. I sang on stage at the Sydney Opera House with Barry Crocker and Kamahl. (Yes, I did).

9. My brother appeared on Perfect Match and struck out. He refused to kiss the girl as he went round the screen and stuck his tongue out when Dexter claimed he was the 'perfect match'.

10. I lined up behind Alec Baldwin to pay a restaurant bill in Canada. He's one of the most striking people I've ever seen.

11. I had a conversation with Goran Ivanisevic before a tennis game in Sydney. Actually my dad did, I just stood there and nodded.

12. Lil-lil's face was on a news graphic for the intro of a story on Channel 7.

13. Lil-lil has been a cover model for a magazine.

14. Goosey appeared in a promo for Johnson's Baby products.

15. I used to do the voice promos for my radio teacher's radio program.

16. Julian Assange's step-dad gave me a Christmas present.

Ah the path to great mediocrity! Please don't hate me because I'm so fabulous.


  1. Brilliant! You know, I thought I had the most Lame Claims To Fame - but you win! (so jealous of Muhammad Ali!)

  2. Love it! I have heaps of lame claims, working in libraries has given me more lame claims than I thought possible. Tom also did Simon Townsend's Wonder World, think he was dressed up in turn of the century garb.

    My favourite lame claim is when Graham Coxon told me to piss off and made me cry during their '97 Australian tour! And I bored Mark Webber from Pulp, but he's a bit of a prick anyway. I scammed my way into a backstage party with half a pint of lager (god knows)and was hanging out with Japanese and American Pulp fans. He knew I was talking to him because I was too chicken to talk to Jarvis. Bizarrely, while that was going on, one of the dudes in their support band (Britpop also-rans Rialto) tried to lure me back to their hotel. Very weird night.

  3. I am sitting here wearing a tshirt that says "famous" and now I have this urge to take it off and post it to you (smelly army pit juice and all). Wow!

  4. awesome list!! You have to get your singing thing going , you must have some serious talent girl. This is me telling you what to do. Your list is impressive. When my run is over - I will show you mine!!! x

  5. No, not serious talent. Just a child with mild talent who tried out for everything.


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