Saturday 21 January 2012

School , it a cometh

While I've been away, I've had lots of time to think about Lil-Lil starting school. I must admit, I've never understood the mothers who weep at the gate as they wave goodbye on that first day of school. I've always thought it would be more exciting than sad. As the day approaches though I'm starting to get it.

Lil-Lil and I have been through a lot. Being a firstborn she's has the rough job of breaking me into motherhood. It's been a long journey these past five years, which is why I think firstborns have a unique relationship with their parents. Poor kid.

As I get ready to send her out into the world I'm starting to panic a little. Have done well enough by her? I should have has more patience, been more engaged, soaked up the days with her a little more. Will she cope being thrown into the deep end of school?

Maybe it's my anxiety, knowing all the challenges she's going to face. Bitchy girls, cranky teachers, teasing boys. Mental arithmetic. Urgh. Her innocence will be lost and at the moment I'm soaking in that gorgeous innocence. She's naively so happy about the 'fun' of big school, but it's really her first step into a lifelong journey of challenges.

Of course there is the selfish fact that she's going to need me less. That Maddy or Sienna or whoever at school is suddenly going to be smarter/cooler in her eyes. She will probably worship her teacher.

As much as I've downplayed it to myself, starting school is a big deal. And I will miss her. That precious time of her being a little kid at home is over, but I feel lucky to have had it.

I'm also a teeny bit excited to watch her blossom, as I'm sure she will. I will probably shed a little tear on that first day, but also a big sigh of relief that we made it this far. That we've survived the first leg of childhood relatively unscathed. Let's hope we survive the next!

15 comments:

  1. What a big milestone - and what a gorgeous little lady.
    :-)

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  2. I haven't really thought much about it either but this post just made me cry! Everything you said, everything. All of a sudden I am NOT ready.

    Beautiful Corinne x

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    1. Thanks Beth! I'm not sure if you're ever ready, thankfully the kids are definitely ready! X

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  3. I've been thinking about this post on and off today, and it's made me a bit sad.

    I will be trying very hard not to cry. I am a HUGE sook.

    I mostly hope the kids like my kid, and no-one tries to kill that earnest little look she gets in her eyes. I'm looking forward to watching her learn so much though.

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    1. Oh I know, that's the part that scares me the most, Lil interacting with the other kids and that wide-eyed wondering being lost.

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  4. Oh I get this totally Corinne. I am definitely one of those Mama's that cry at the gate. I don't mind admitting it. It's funny, because we're not starting big school until next year... but even thinking that, NEXT. YEAR, scares the daylights out of me. They say with parenthood, the days are long, but the years are short and 'they' are so right.
    I agree about the eldest child too, they'll always hold that special spot in the heart.
    Lil-lil is such a beautiful gal :o) xo

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    1. Wow that saying is so true! I haven't heard that before but it's bang on. X

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  5. Just wait until D goes! It was a little more exciting sending off the firstborn, like Wow! We have come so far together....but when the baby goes....
    Everything was "this is the last time I will do this", and "this is the last time I will see one of my babies do that".
    VERY emotional....and a whole lot of sadness seeing those days goes by!

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    1. Oh I don't want to think about that. I'm already dealInv with 'that's the last time I'll buy newborn nappies, etc' x

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  6. Beautifully written. Exactly how i feel and although i'm very emotional about my girl starting tomorrow and ive been thinking i won't cry now that i just read this i probably well. its bringing tears to my eyes now :(

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  7. It really is one of the most bittersweet moments of parenting, Corinne. I get teary and overwhelmed sometimes on my children's behalf - and then I realise that I am once again over-thinking things and they are not phasespd. My new motto is to "worry when they are worried" and not a second beforehand.

    Best wishes to Lil. She will be amazing.

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  8. Such a lovely post Corinne. My firstborn starts school in a week, and I am both excited and anxious. I am a big softie though so the tears will definitely be flowing.
    Good Luck to Lil I have no doubt she will enjoy every moment.

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  9. I am so scared of my little one starting school. It is the end of the beginning. =) This was a sweet post..

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  10. Oh gosh, I know how you feel! My little one starts 25 Mar. Scary stuff.

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