On medical advice

I'm a bit of a hormonal wreck at the moment. I hear sad stories and they linger in my head, for a long time. I almost take on the pain of the people things are happening to, without ever having met them. Whether it's on the news, people Skip works with, friends telling stories about other friends, whoever.

Reading the story this week about the coronial inquiry into the death of Jacob Belim has been one of those unable to leave my head. How the medical system failed a little boy and how easily it can happen.
About 12 years ago, I lost a work colleague who died after test results went missing in the ER department. Had her illness been taken seriously and had she received treatment in time, it's likely she would have survived.

These stories make me angry and make me concerned. They make me vigilant. I keep them in my head to ensure that I listen to my instincts and not get silenced if I'm worried.

The past few months, I've had my own run-ins with medical staff that make me concerned and frankly piss me off.

Last year, we took Goosey to the emergency after she knocked her head and started vomiting. She continued to vomit, was very drowsy and could not walk without falling over. We were told over and over by a couple of nurses that she just had a virus, nothing to worry about. I knew in my heart it wasn't a virus. When the doctor finally appeared and started talking about concussion, the nurses were shocked. "You really think it's a head injury?" and the doctor said "Of course, it is." They were sheepish after plonking us in a corner and I think probably labelling us over-zealous parents.

There have been a number of times when I have been concerned or had a gut feeling that was dismissed by a doctor and then later found to be right.

Just last week, I went for a prenatal appointment and was told that some test results earlier in the year showed I needed a course of medication. I was concerned that I was only being told this three months after the tests were conducted. I was then retested and told to call back the following day to get results. They sent me home with a script just in case. When I called the next day, I was completely berated by the staff member. I was told the test was unnecessary, it wasn't usual protocol, that there was no way test results would be ready any way and I was essentially wasting her time. Fuming inside, I remained calm on the outside and said I was just doing as instructed. Two days later I received a call telling me I needed to start medication immediately. I was also told the script I was given wasn't what they would normal give but was OK. I got the script filled and started taking it. I was then called 24 hours later by someone else and told that the medication I was taking was wrong and should stop immediately and come and get a new script immediately.

The person made me feel like an idiot. Talked down to me, like I should have known better. A little while later, angry and confused, I called back and said I needed it all explained to me again. Why was I told one thing and then told another? Why did I pay for and take medicine that was potentially bad for me and the baby? I was pretty much brushed off, talked down to and again made to feel like the episode was my fault. Somehow, I should have known better, but at the same time I shouldn't be asking questions and just shut up and do as I was told.

I'm not an idiot. While I don't have medical training, I'm perfectly capable of understanding basic explanations and instructions. I don't appreciate being spoken to like a naughty child. It's my health and my children's health so I deserve a thorough explanation.

It can be hard dealing with the medical system. I have found that it's very common to be told two completely different things by specialists, practitioners, midwives, nurses. I have had babies in both the private and public system and found them not dissimilar. There is always conflicting advice.

While there are plenty of wonderful, capable, caring medical practitioners out there, I think it's always worth being vigilant, never ignore your instincts and if you're not happy with an answer or explanation – ask, ask and ask again. Don't be afraid to speak up and if you think you're not being heard, speak louder. I would rather be considered an annoying idiot, than have the unthinkable happen.


Edited to add: None of what has happened to me has been life-threatening or altering, but I feel all patients should be dealt with respect, intelligence and care. Most of all that medical staff, while busy, should listen to patients. 

Preschool princess + giveaway

Goosey's first day at preschool last Friday was a HUGE success. I woke up a little nervous, a little sad and a little excited. Skip went to work late so he could take the little one to her first day.
Being a special day, we celebrated by having a special breakfast out, then came home to get ready.

Goosey picked out her outfit. Then she helped me make her lunch, the bottomless pit made sure there were plenty of snacks for the long day of play. Lil-lil piped up in the background telling us all what Goose needed for preschool and other the protocol with her voice of experience. Goosey filled up her brand new Stephen Joseph lunch bag and bottle, packed her back pack with all the preschool essentials and we were off. A few snaps had to be taken to make the occasion, of course.

The Goose with her lunch bag packed.

At the gate and ready to go.

She bolted into preschool, started painting with her mate Ollie and barely gave us a second look as we said goodbye. It's quite gorgeous, as Ollie is the son of one of my closest friends, we met in kindergarten and now our kids are going to preschool together.

It was really hard to walk out that door and leave her there. I'm so used to having my little side-kick with me. Lil-lil and I took Skip to work and then spent the day together. The girls will go to preschool on different days due to their ages, so no days off for me. Though, it was nice to have some one-on-one time with my big girl, especially before number 3 comes along.

All day, I wondered how Goosey was going, if she coping, if she was missing me. We went and picked her up about 15 minutes early as I couldn't wait anymore. She was dancing and holding hands with her friend Ollie and she didn't even acknowledge me, though Lil-lil got a look in. When I gave her a hug and said it was time to come home, she cried: "But I want to stay and play!" So it's great that she loves it, though being mum I wished that maybe she'd missed me just a little bit. It's better than heartbreaking goodbyes, I guess.

So my little baby is now a big preschool girl. Lucky I have another baby on the way to satisfy those baby urges.


To celebrate Goosey's first day of preschool I have some prize packs to giveaway. I've bundled up some super sweet Stephen Joseph products to make two prizes. I wanted to share the love as I adore Goosey's new lunch bag and drink bottle so much, it's cuter and easier to store than your standard bulky plastic lunch box. There's one girl's pack and one boy's pack.


The girl's pack features a lunch bag and a gorgeous lined rain coat (a large size 2). While the boy's pack features a lunch bag and a pair of cool sunnies. 

To win, tell me your first day at preschool, school, work, whatever tale. Entries are for Aussie residents only. Giveaway closes 11.59pm Sunday 21st August 2011. Let me know if you'd prefer a girl's or a boy's pack.

Weekend highlights

Another weekend down. There's fewer and fewer off them before B-Day. Before carefree weekends become a little more complicated, for a while at least. This weekend was a pretty good one, except for the fact I developed a fairly impressive set of cankles. Where does the leg end and where does the foot begin? It's anyone's guess. Ahhh pregnancy you just keep on giving!

Here are the weekend highlights:

* Seeing the Newtown Jets play. Always a  fun afternoon/evening. Like stepping back to 1982. I was a little torn as the Jets were playing 'my' team Manly. Luckily Manly won, I would've felt like a bit of a traitor if I'd had to cheer on too many Jet tries, even though they do have a big place in my heart. I'll be back to cheering on the Jets again when we head back to Henson Park in a couple of weeks though.

* Doing some Sunday shopping and buying some delicious tea for the pot. We spent a great deal of time in T2 sniffing and sipping to find the perfect Sunday afternoon blend.

* Visitors. Our Sunday afternoon became filled with pop-in visitors which was lovely. Thankfully we'd made a batch of cupcakes to fill their bellies and had some delish tea on hand too.

I've got an exciting weekend coming up. I'll just have to get through the rest of the week. To help ease the way, I've got a gorgeous giveaway tomorrow.

What did you get up to? Happy Monday.

Wishful

This Friday I'm wishing that:

* Goosey has a fantastic day at preschool, but will still be excited to see me when I pick her up;
* everyone in my household gets good solid, restful, peaceful sleep tonight (it's been severely lacking and all my fault);
* the weekend is full of fun, laughter and relaxation;
* the biscuits (cookies for my American friends) I've been eating all this week are kilojoule-free;
* this lurgy I've been suffering disappears;
* everyone has a delightful weekend.

See you next week. I've got a cute giveaway lined-up, so stayed tuned.

Teacher's pet

Tomorrow my baby is starting preschool. Six months earlier than planned. About a year earlier than Lil-lil. The thought hadn't entered my head, but mums at preschool asked if she was starting. Then Skip suggested it. When I took a good look at her, I knew it was time.

She's just so ready. So eager. So independent. She wants to stay every time we drop Lil-lil off. She wants mates. She wants to learn. She wants to be like her big sister.

Goose does a dance class in the scout hall behind our house. It was something to give her a bit of fun and activity while Lil's at preschool. She's so confident and ready to learn she follows every instruction to the letter. While the other kids are hiding in their mothers' skirts, Goose is front and centre ready to get on with it. The teacher put her up to the 4 year old class, I was worried she might be too little, just turned 3, but she's not bothered. Still front and centre. Right next to the teacher. Ready to jump in and take over teaching the class if the teacher moves away for a second.

Walking out that preschool door will be hard tomorrow. I know she's ready to go. I don't know if I'm ready to let her.

Perfectly imperfect (alternatively titled: why I blog)

I've had a few real-life people say to me that they feel like a stalker when they read my blog. My reply to that is: "If I've put it on the internet I'm OK with you reading it. Believe me."

My blog is about my life, my thoughts and feelings. My insecurities, my fears. My hope and dreams. It's my perspective of my corner of the world. I don't put anything here that I wouldn't say to anyone in the real world. I wouldn't put anything here that I think would embarrass or hurt my family or friends. I do try to be open and honest though. My perspective on things that happen in my life are probably completely different from those around me, but that's what life's about. In all honesty, only a small percentage of my life makes it onto the blog, though I think it's the feelings and the things I tussle with that make it on the most. There are times I post something and wonder: "Oooh, have I said too much? Will people think I'm mad/a whinger/sad/etc? Will Skip approve of this? " I think most bloggers think this at one time or another.

I have to say that the only time he's ever disapproved of something I've written (or at least that he's spoken of) is when he thinks I haven't been honest enough.

I've recently realised how drawn I am to people who live openly and honestly. People who don't have a facade. They say: "This is me, like it or not". I've found myself with less time for people who 'try' to be something they are not, try to be perfect or at least portray their life as perfect. I really like the imperfect. We're all imperfect, some of us are just more honest about it than others.

Over the past 12 months or so I've had the pleasure of meeting people like Eden and Beth through blogging. Both funny, gorgeous and smart, but both oh so honest about being imperfect. Their lives are real, complicated, exciting and boring and I love reading about it. In real life, I've recently befriended someone who is incredibly open and honest and I like it, I like it a lot. I found the words: "I love your openness!" pouring out of my mouth to her just a few days ago.

I think one of the many reasons I love Skip so much is that he's real. He generally says what he thinks, no bullshit. I respect that openness. I think raw honesty is an attractive quality in someone.

I hate whispers, intrigue, secrets. I don't find the mysterious attractive, I find it unsettling. I much prefer an open book.

Earlier this week, I read this post from Sarah at Ah The Possibilities and it really resonated with me about why I blog, how I blog, how I want to blog and what I've got out of blogging. By sharing a lot of my feelings about being a parent, a partner and a person, I've come to understand them better and I hope that I may have made others out there feel better about having similar feelings (or at least made them feel better so they can say "What a freak!"). That there is a difference between being vulnerable and being intimate.

So while you may feel like a stalker reading this, I promise there is more going on behind the scenes. Though all the angst, insecurities, delight, joy, sadness, frustration, anger, boredom are real, imperfectly real. I don't blog to say 'hey, look how good I am here on the internet', I blog to wade through all 'stuff' in life. I blog to be open to myself. I blog in the hope that someone else will say: "I totally get what you're saying."

Urban farming

We live just 5km from Sydney's CDB. We can see the city skyline from the end of our street. Most of the houses in our area are small and have pocket-size courtyards or gardens. Ever since we moved here, I've worried about the girls having too much of an urban lifestyle. None of the freedoms or experiences of living in the burbs or the country.

The reality is the kids in our neighbourhood play every day in the park across the road from our house, instead of in big backyards. Which is kind of nice as there is real sense of community and everyone knows everyone else. There is always someone for the girls to play with and we all keep an eye on each other's kids. So much for the nameless, unfriendly existence I was worried about. Sometimes it's like living in a country town, with lots of gossip as well.

The girls seem to know everyone in our suburb by name, much more than I do. A walk to the shops always involves stopping and saying 'hello' to someone we know. One of our neighbours commented that we couldn't leave the area as they know everyone and are famous in the community.

Our local shopping centre has recently brought this idea of community to its roof top and Goose and I went and checked it out. They've created a community garden so people can plant, grow and pick herbs and vegies. There's an area for the kids to play, for adults to sit and it's a nice way for city kids to get their hands dirty and eat something they've grown (or at least picked).

I think it's a fabulous idea. Goose had a great time playing and looking at the plants. Smelling, touching, naming. We even picked some herbs for our dinner. Sure it may not be the same as have a big vegie patch in your garden, but it's the next best thing and more than I experienced as a kid.

Windmill and the city skyline.

Goose makes her mark.