Wednesday 31 March 2010

A crack in the mirror

Riddle me this... how can you help your children to be the best people they can be when you're struggling to do it for yourself?

I feel very flawed at the moment, and I worry that I'm passing my flaws on to my girls. I know that it's a vital lesson that children learn that their parents are human, thus flawed, but I guess I wish it was easier to get over my neuroses and imperfections so they have a chance not to pick them up.

The one thing I would like to change about myself is shyness. I have struggled with it my whole life and I don't think it's something I'll ever conquer. It makes my heart sing to see that my girls aren't shy.
I also wish that I could speak up for myself a bit more. I worry that my girls will pick up this trait and become a 'walk over' like me.

What are your flaws? How do you help yourself 'get over' them? Is it a work in progress or a lost cause?


  1. It's funny, because I think, as parents, we tend to come down harder when we see our own negative traits reflected in our children. I know that issues that I've had problems with in my life {friendship issues, body image etc} I tend to look out for and try to rectify quite quickly - or find ways to rectify. I think it's good to be conscious and act whenever possible. Phew - that was a long one! But I reckon that you're doing a fabulous job x

  2. Well put. One thing I hope my kids don't pick up from me is giving up when I get frustrated or feel there's no way to solve something. When more than likely there always is a solution. Sometimes. Hehehe.

  3. We work hard on the making friends, confidence and shyness. I was shy and had only 1 friend. When she wasn't at school, it was terrible. Miss M has 1 best friend and I'm always working on getting her to branch out since this girl is 1 year ahead of her in school. We talk about what it was like when I was a kid and why it is important to be yourself and not worry about others. So far, so good.

    I'm sure you are doing great. It's nerve wracking raising these kids. I wonder if our parents had the same issues, but just never discussed or revealed it to us.

  4. Oh rin I think youre being a bit hard on yourself...!! You are friendly, open, honest and trust worthy! All gifts that you will impart on the girls... x

  5. Wow! The great thing about blogging and finding "new" bloggers like you is that we begin to realise we're not alone in how we feel.
    I remember reading something written by a doctor during my first pregnancy that said something like "if you worry about parenting you're a good parent". Keep worrying but be kinder on yourself.

  6. Thanks ladies great comments.

    Michele - I think you forgot fabulous, talented, funny and smart :P

  7. I am very easily hurt. I find it difficult to rise above other people's b.s. and I so wish I was more assertive and would speak out when the b.s. becomes too much. Instead I retreat into la-la land, go into lock-out mode. I worry every day that I'm passing these traits on to Master P. But I know we're also passing on a lot of good things too. I hoping those cancel out the bad!

    I think that you're doing a wonderful job with the girls. xo

  8. We are all works in progress. I think being aware of our weaknesses is key. I know I can be a perfectionist at times and I see this trait now in my daughter, who is only 7. It's hard to watch her come down on herself when she makes even a small mistake and know whereby she gets it. I think self-awareness and personal growth are life-long projects, both for us and, by extension, our children.


Thank you so much for your comments! I'm always thrilled to hear from you.

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