I have a confession to make. I'm not proud of it and I admit that I may have even lied about it at some point.
I don't really know what Twilight is.
There. I've said it. I feel much better now.
You're either thinking: 'What a moron! Have you been living under a rock?' or 'What's the big deal?' Well, just before having kids I spent a few years working in trashy, weekly celebrity rags, so it was my job to know anything and everything about this kind of thing. Now I don't know who these people are on the cover of the mags I once worked at. I don't know if Twilight is a book, a TV show, a cable special, a movie or all of the above. I feel like there's a whole world going on out there that is completely foreign to me. Most of all it makes me feel really old. I have no idea what the young folk are talking about these days.
I watched 60 minutes on Sunday night and caught a few minutes of their Twilight story. It really hit home then - if I need Charles Wooley to explain youth culture to me, then I'm really not part of youth culture (or even popular culture) anymore.
Yesterday, as I walked around Ultimo in my lunch break I noticed all the young guys had this same silly haircut. What are they all thinking? It must take them ages to do, they all look ridiculous, most of all they all look like a sad bunch of clones. Uh oh, another sign of aging.
I then sat down in a small cafe, just for a minute and then had to leave. There was this god awful loud music playing.
On the bus home, two 14-year-olds behind me in their school uniform were having a very sexually explicit conversation. Something about how you have to find someone with the right sexual chemistry. That would never have happened in my day.
Know nothing about the latest craze – tick. Find the latest hairdos ridiculous – tick. Music too loud and just 'noise' – tick. Utter the words 'That never would've happened in my day' – tick.
So it's official, I'm old. Well, at the very least I'm certainly not young anymore. How on earth could this happen? I've spent years and years being young and hip!