I started writing this blog about 3.5 years ago, this is post 901. When I first started, I didn't really know what a blog was. I stumbled across Blogger through Google and started mucking around. I was at a really sleep deprived stage and feeling a bit isolated at home. I was thinking about returning to work and freelance writing, so I thought I needed some practise. I started tapping away on the laptop, the blog being a place I could store my scrawlings. I honestly never expected any of it to see the light of day. This was at a time when blogging was almost non-existent.
Somehow, I'm not really sure how, other bloggers stumbled upon my blog and started reading and commenting. I started reading their blogs and commenting on theirs. Some of these people are now blog 'royalty', others have vanished along the way. I started to like the feedback, I started to connect with these other bloggers and enjoyed having this interaction while being home, somewhat isolated. I made good friends.
I enjoyed having a hobby (my first ever one), something I really loved and looked forward to doing. Before, if you wanted to write as a hobby you scrawled on some paper and shoved it in a drawer. Here writing could be a fun hobby and shared with people who were interested in reading it. It felt lovely and it felt safe.
Slowly, I invited close friends and family to read. That's when I really enjoyed this blog, I enjoyed the writing and I enjoyed the comments.
Then about 2 years ago, I was made one of the Kidspot Top 50 Australian Bloggers and it was a real privilege. It was nice to feel recognised and be regarded as something other than 'just a mum at home'. It was a nice to feel that I was good at something and other people thought so too. That I had something to contribute. The downside was, as part of the competition, I had to publicise my blog. That was the first time that I really pursued readers, at the time it didn't really feel comfortable and I think it's never really sat right with me since. In some way, while I haven't actively pursued followers, I think I almost felt like I had to as part of the natural progression. Since then I've changed the way I've written, I've tried to ensure my blog was written entirely from my own perspective. While I've included my family and friends, I've tried to ensure they were bit players and that this was my story. Sometimes I've succeeded and sometimes I haven't.
Over the past few months, I've felt less and less comfortable and motivated to keep writing here. I think I need to take heed of these feelings. I've felt obligated to write here and that's something I've never wanted. Blogging here just hasn't felt good.
I love writing and will always write in some form. I think now is the time to take a different direction. While I'll never say never, I think it's time to take an extended break from here. More than likely a permanent break.
Over the past few days, I've toyed with how I'd finish up. At first I thought I'd just stop, but that's not my style. Then I thought I'd put a small note saying thanks and goodbye, again not my style.
I want to thank everyone who has read and commented and given me lovely feedback. I want to thank all the wonderful friends I've met along the way. I want to thank you all for your encouragement and lovely words. I want to thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my words.
In the future, I may resurrect this blog but turn it into something different. I may just start a completely different blog. I may not blog at all. In the meantime, I will be contributing to a blog written by expat Australian women called Wandering Women, it will feature stories about life as an Australian woman living overseas.
So again, thank you. And, ciao for now.