Pangs

Being an expat is an incredible experience. Getting to live in another country and soak up another culture is without doubt one of the best things I've ever done. There are just so many positives to the whole experience and we pinch ourselves almost daily that we get to do this.

Of course, nothing good comes without some form of sacrifice. In order to have this incredible experience we have to give up things - the main one being close to family and friends. This means that we also miss out on lots of milestones and big events. Living so far away means that quick trips home are out, no weekends here or there or visits every couple of months. It's Facebook and Skype to keep in touch and share moments with our Aussie friends and family.

I have to admit I don't really suffer from much homesickness though. I don't pine for Australia, like some other expats I know. Most of the time I'm happy where I am. Of course there are moments when I wish I could drop in on a friend or catch up with family. There are times when I look at Skip and know that what he needs more than anything at that moment is an afternoon at the pub filled with laughs with his best mates. Otherwise, life goes on happily and there are days when I think I'll never feel ready to return to Australia.

Then there are those times when it really hits just how far away we are. When I look at the kids and see how much they're growing up and how people are missing that. Last year, it was my Dad's 70th birthday and logistically and financially it was too hard to go back for the party. In the lead up I thought I was fine about missing it, but come the day and I see my Facebook feed fill up with photos and anecdotes and I start to feel sad. Forgotten and left out and just so far away. It's the sacrifice we make for all the other good stuff.

Over the weekend some good friends, in fact they're more like family, got engaged. Skip and I were beaming, we were just so happy and excited for them. We knew beforehand it was going to happen and we waited excitedly for the call. We laughed with them over Skype, oohed over the ring and talked about the what lies ahead. Then we clicked the hang up button. I think if someone had said right then, "Pack your bags, you're going home!" we would have jumped at the chance.

It's those moments that make you think: "Why are we doing this?" Sometimes it just seems crazy to be apart from friends and family and missing out on all this good stuff. It's part of the expat roller-coaster. Everyone I know who lives far from their homeland has those 'Why are we doing this?' moments. Then you shake them off and move on with your day.

I know without a doubt that we're right where we're meant to be. Hopefully it will make all those moments when we do catch up with our loved ones all the more special.

Boys on bikes, men in lycra

I  had the kids at home all day with me yesterday. I'm getting used to these surprise days off as they've been happening a bit. On Wednesday night we got a text from the school saying they'd decided to close for the Dubai Tour (a cycle race) as they were worried about students being caught up in the traffic. So we stayed at home and waited for the boys on their bikes to scoot past.

We heard the sirens of the police first and we gathered on our balcony in wait. And we waited and we waited.

Lil-lil shouted: "They're here!"

"Sorry, Lil. That's just the mini-mart guy doing some deliveries," I replied.

Then finally a group flew past, a helicopter hovered over our heads and before we knew they were all gone. That was it. I don't know what I expected, but it was a bit of a disappointment really.

When Skip returned home that night, I assured him that I never wanted to see the Tour de France. France, yes. Bikes in France, no.

Cycling is a funny thing. I don't know if it's a new phenomenon but it seems to be the current choice of middle-aged males for their mid-life crisis. Sure, I know some young guys into it and some women, but there seems to be a lot of men who reach a certain age and the start to don some lycra and spend a lot of money and early hours on all things with two wheels.

More and more of my friends talk about their husbands foregoing an end-of-week glass of wine for getting up early and hitting the road on their new bikes (which can cost as much as a car). Then that night they're too tired from their crack-of-dawn ride, so retire early leaving a whole bottle for their wives to drink on their lonesome. My friends lament their husbands secretly spending up big at the cycling shop and spending all their free time dressed like 80s one-hit wonder Collette.

I had a friend who used worked in TV on the Tour de France and nick-named it "boys on bikes". It used to make me giggle. For a month every year she wouldn't be able to come out as 'the boys on bikes are back'. I have that someone who takes up cycling as their mid-life crisis is called a Mamil (middle-aged man in lycra) – a name I adore.

It seems the Mamil likes to take a big bike ride on a weekend morning and then clog up a trendy cafe afterwards, blinding poor unsuspecting coffee shop patrons with their lurid lycra. It's the same in Dubai as it is in Sydney. I had hoped that the lycra might be flouting some decency law here in the Middle East, but apparently they manage to slip past any such rules.

So, it seems the Mamil is here to stay. I can only hope when the time comes, that Skip chooses a sports car over a bicycle. Let's face it, a sports car makes for a lot more fun on a weekend!

Let's face it the only man who looks good lycra is Freddie Mercury!

Do you have a Mamil? Are you a Mamil? Am I missing something with competitive cycling?

Australia Day away

The past couple of months, I've felt the need to watch and read Australian stories. I've downloaded episodes of Redfern Now, Puberty Blues, Underbelly and The Time of Our Lives.  Being away from Australian shores makes me appreciate how important it is to tell Australian stories in our own way, in our accents with our quirks. Sure we may cringe at 'Get us a chiko roll, ya moll!', but it's a little part of who we are and it's important to take a look in the mirror now and then, appreciate the good and hopefully move up and on from the bad.

As the family set off to work and school yesterday, my Facebook page filled up with Australia Day celebrations a world away. The girls tied back their hair with a kangaroo and koala clip, the boy wore his 'Australia' t-shirt, I made lamington cupcakes as an after dinner surprise. People greeted us with "Happy Australia Day!" like it was our birthday.

We'd already had our own Australia Day celebration on Friday evening. We were invited to an Aussie friends home for a lamb roast and Skip made some Anzac bikkies to take along (although they didn't quite make it there). It was a sensational lamb roast stuffed with garlic and chilis, a multicultural nod from our Fijian Indian Australian host. We shared it with Malaysians, a Russian, a Swiss and an Indian person (it then turned into a double Australia Day/Indian Republic Day as they share the same date).

Once again, I looked around as we all shared food and stories and felt so grateful to be in this position. I loved hearing about growing up in Soviet Russia or how speaking three languages fluently in just normal everyday life in Basel. I was fascinated hearing about being a Muslim and living in New Zealand, Australia and the UAE in a few short years and the difference (and similarities) between life in Mumbai and Dubai. In a strange way it felt like the best way to celebrate Australia Day. And as with any celebration talk kept coming back to sport and food - the passions the world over.

So as Aussies, I believe, we need to keep telling our own stories and making sure we listen with genuine curiosity to other people's too. It's the only way we're going to evolve and be the best country we can.

Rinse and repeat

Lil-lil's gummy smile

Being a parent to three kids can be all-consuming and exhausting. Scrap that. Being a parent to any number of kids can be all-consuming and exhausting. Some days, or rather most days, can feel like your just doing what you can to get to bed-time - feed them, cloth them, get them to run around a bit, perhaps teach them something, answer a lot of questions, say no a lot. Rinse and repeat the following day. Groundhog day.

Recently I've been a cranky, shouty mum which I don't really like. The kids have been driving me crackers and I react and it's not fun for anyone. I don't know whether it's them or me, but the past week has been a lot better. I've engaged with them more, appreciated them more, listened to them more. Set aside time with them rather than worrying about the dinner/shopping/tidying/etc/etc/etc. Maybe it's as simple as the elder two being at school and having five minutes to myself. I wish we could have this household all the time.

Many people here have live-in maids/nannies (many people also don't) and believe me it's something we think about doing. Imagine just doing all the nice stuff and not worrying about the washing, the bed making, the sweeping? Also, the freedom to pop out to the hairdressers or even a doctor's appointment without a two-year-old in tow. Or go for dinner or a movie with my husband on the spur of the moment? All sounds good, but it's not as easy as that and I won't bore you with all the negative issues that have so far prevented us from hiring someone.

So instead, I'll fill you in on what has made my heart soar:

• Lil-lil losing her top front teeth and having that classic gap. Also, the fact that she has finally 'got' reading on her own. The past few days I've found her curled up with a book - so good!
• Goosey's dancing, she has rythymn most could dream of and a style all her own. Plus her one liners and observations of the world never fail to surprise me. 
• Darbs little mind opening up! He's talking, knows his colours, can't count to 20 and spot a Ferrari or Lamborghini before anyone else. 

2014 love

We are well and truly into 2014 now. No going back now, holidays (for us) are over, it's back to the grind/routine/real life.

So far, it' been a wet and chilly one in Dubai. Everyone we meet has said they've never felt this cold before here and are breaking out jumpers and jeans. Still, it's been 21 during the days and 18 overnight, so it's not like it's a polar vortex or anything. It actually could be a January day in Hobart! But for us Dubaiins it's chilly and I, for one, am making the most of it because one thing is certain - it won't last.

To kick off the year, here are some things I've loved already about 2014:

• Eating fabulous Afghan food with friends while the kids played in the shadow of the world's tallest building. Not a bad way to celebrate an 8th birthday!
• Pretending that it's really and truly winter and cooking hearty meals. As well as eating scones. 
• Discovering a new favourite place to eat (The Iranian Club), we'll back there for sure!
• Meeting up with friends after the winter break as they've returned from their 'home' countries.
• Meeting new friends.
• Feeling comfortable that this is 'home', don't feel like the newbie so much anymore. 
• Making plans for the year ahead and looking forward to it. It's always exciting to map out how you hope the year will go, even better when there are wonderful surprises along the way. 
• Having hysterical conversations with Darbs, it feels like he's grown a year in the past couple of months.
• Generally feeling content that our family of five is doing well together and separately. We're all kicking goals in our individual lives and enjoying each other's company when we come together. 

What have you enjoyed about 2014 so far?

You say goodbye and I say hello

The toughest part about living abroad is the making friends and finding a social life. Entering a new community, sucking up the courage to put your shyness/insecurities aside and saying 'hello' to that stranger or calling someone you've never met and asking them out for coffee is just a small but uncomfortable part of that. I guess it's kind of like dating, but you're looking for "the ones" rather than the one.

When you live in a fairly transient place like Dubai, it means having to do this over and over again. People move on or go home and your social circle can suddenly be depleted before you know it. Just when you're getting comfortable, it's time to put yourself out there yet again.

It's good for me to be pushed to put myself out there, as I won't do it if I don't have to. The thing is, when you don't put yourself out there you can miss out on some really amazing experiences.

Recently we've had to say goodbye to a number of people and while it would be nice to cocoon ourselves up as a family of five, it's much healthier to get out there and build up the social circle again. So, 'how do you that?' I hear you ask. Well, I've been online seeking out playgroups and coffee mornings and social groups and while the normal-at-home-in-Sydney me would throw up a little in her mouth at the thought of this, it's how you meet people.

So far I've stayed away from the Australian groups, because, well if I wanted to hang out with a bunch of Aussies I would have stayed in Sydney, but I think it may be time to start looking in that direction too. As looking through the groups online I realised that I don't really have a hobby that I can utilise - so the crafters, the soccer players, the quilters, the triathletes, the long distance runners, are not high up on the list of groups I'm going to sign up to.

Another way to meet people is to essentially force yourself upon the fresh blood. Someone new arrives in town and their husband works with your husband, so you give them a call. It's awkward as hell, but it works. In fact, just before typing this I forced myself to pick up the phone and call a complete stranger. I have to say, I'm glad I did it, as she was lovely, we ended up having a good conversation and I'm really looking forward to meeting her in the flesh. She has similar interests to me, but she's grown up in a totally different world and is someone I would probably never meet living in suburban Sydney.

The thing for me, it's not about finding like-minded people. Sure, that can be nice, but travelling and putting yourself out of your comfort zone means meeting people who have completely different ideas about the world and that's what I love. Talking to people whose life experiences have been completely different to mine. That's what I want to make the most of.

Also, what may seem like a perfect match on paper may end up being a dud in reality. Unlikely friendships can sometimes be the best.

One of the best times I've had here is sitting round with a group of mums from around the world - UAE, Portugal, Lebanon, Egypt, Ireland, Netherlands, France, Brazil - the only thing in common is our kids are in the same class. Listening to these women discuss their lives and comparing notes has been fascinating. Getting insights and feeling secure to ask "Why do you do….?". It's fascinating for someone like me who's interested in people and what they do.

So wish me luck as I put myself out there yet again. I'm looking forward to a year filled with lots of conversations with interesting people. Here's hoping!

New things in 2014

It's the last day of 2014 and I've been inspired by dear, lovely friend Linda of Pink Patent Mary Janes to list 52 new things I want to do in 2014, rather than do new year resolutions.

I like the idea of a list of new things to do and try, it's so much more positive than a list resolutions of things not to do.

r!

So let's take it away (and I apologise Linda if I unintentionally, or intentionally, steal some of your ideas).

1. I've been thinking recently how it's time to take on some work or train myself for new work. Then today I was approached to do some work for a really good magazine. Surprising to be approached and not chase after it!
2. Take Arabic classes.
3. Be more adventurous and go exploring with Darbs when the girls are at school.
4. Join a sporting or social club.
5. Meet more friends (see point 4).
6. Plan and execute at least 3 trips overseas this year. 
7. Read more novels.
8. Go on more dates with Skip.
9. Try new restaurants (instead of old faithfuls).
10. Spend more time one-on-one with each kid.
11. Exercise at least three times a week.
12. Learn to cook Arabic food.
13. Listen to some new music each month.
14. Visit a Filipino restaurant.
15. Go to the hairdresser before the situation is completely dire. 
16. Entertain more at home.
17. Do something charitable each month.
18. Visit the camel races.
19. Buy a piece of art.
20. Have more weekends away.
21. Go camping.
22. Walk more (instead of driving, no easy feat in Dubai)
23. Do more fun stuff with Darbs when he's at home during the day.
24. Bake bread/pizza bases/etc.
25. Learn how to make Umm Ali (and Arabic dessert).
26. Sit down and write more emails home.
27. Call friends and family more.
28. Find fun and healthy things that my kids will actually eat.
29. Cook more with the kids.
30. Find a new hobby that's just for me.
31. Find a hobby for the whole family.
32. Play tennis.
33. Give out more compliments.
34. Find ways to eat more vegetables.
35. Eat good quality chocolate (instead of crap).
36. Make something (art/craft, etc)
37. Buy more plants.
38. Grow something we can eat.
39. Talk positively about myself.
40. Take more photos with me in them.
41. Throw a big party.
42. Do something that scares me (I definitely stole this one from Linda and love it).
43. Read more international current affairs.
44. Blog more.
45. Play music instead of watch TV
46. Go to the movies at least 3 times (and not see a kids movie).
47. Make Skip laugh every day.
48. Have one completely lazy day and do absolutely nothing.
49. Have a full day out in Dubai from sun up until sun down.
50. Help a stranger.
51. Put every effort in to make a dream realised.
52. Do one fun thing as a family every week.

So that's it! Exciting! Bring on 2014….