Thursday 20 March 2014


I'm a big fan of the movie Stand By Me. There was a stage when I could recite every piece of dialogue word-for-word, in fact, if pushed I probably still could. There's one part of the movie that I wasn't too keen on and that's when Gordie tells his latest story to the other boys called Barf-O-Rama, it's about a fat kid who's taunted by everyone in his town and gets revenge at a pie eating contents when he vomits up the blueberries pies and in the process sets off a chain reaction of vomit through everyone at the contest. The vomit was revolting and the fact that everyone's vomit was blueberries just didn't do for me.

I'll tell you something worse than that scene of the movie. It's when you have your own Barf-O-Rama in the back of the car. Yes, it did happen and, unfortunately, it's not the first time.

On the way to school one morning this week, Lil-lil piped up that she felt like she was going to vomit. She looked a little grey but sometimes says that she feels like she's going to vomit with no consequences so I wasn't too concerned. Plus, I was in three lanes of traffic so there wasn't a lot I could do.

We motored on when I heard a sound and saw some movement and some spray in the rearview mirror. Panicked, I grabbed around the car for something, anything, to contain the vomit. Unsuccessful I quickly dived into a slip road and pulled over. Dragging Lil-lil out of the car just in time for her to chuck everywhere. She was covered in it. So was a corner of the footpath, unfortunately I looked up to see we were right in front of one of Dubai's most famous tourist attractions not the best place to fall suddenly ill (sorry tourists, she got as much in the bush as possible). I got her back in the car, but the smell of chuck set off a chain reaction.

Darbs in his car seat start to gag and before I knew he'd spewed everywhere. This set off Goosey who also started to gag. I jumped out of the car again and got her out in time for her to chuck in the bush, keeping herself nice and clean. Darby continued to vomit. Good times, friends, good times.

Darbs screamed, shocked by the wave of vomit that covered him.

"This is the worst school run ever," I said, not really sure what to do next.

"Even worse than when the fire extinguisher went off, Mum?" said Goosey.

"Yes, even worse than that," I muttered.

Have you ever had your own Barf-O-Rama?


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